Patience of a Gnat.

Here it is a Monday already and I’m forced to pick only one thing that I am moaning about for our weekly Monday Moans Event. I went through several ideas in my head and had a hard time deciding on this week’s vent. It didn’t help that every time I sat down at my computer, one of my little darlings bellowed out another need – a very clear and present show of disrespect. And then I had it…………

My kids have the patience of a gnat…a baby gnat….a baby gnat on acid. I see this over and over in our daily lives. They get this from their father.

In fact, the only time that they exhibit any patience at all is when they intentionally wait for me to sit down before belting out a reason that they need me to get up. Sometimes, when they are feeling particularly vindictive, they wait until I’m on a different floor of our house. Special, aren’t they?

I always imagine them on pins and needles, anxiously waiting for me to get settled, as they try to shush each other. Perched on the edge of their seats, covering their snickers with their little hands, they try to keep their patience in check. Wait for it……waaaiiiitttt….just one more minute….almost time….No…wait, she hasn’t sat down yet!….now! “MOOOOOOMMMMM!!!”

Why do I even holler from the kitchen or upstairs, asking anyone in this entire house and neighborhood if they need anything while I am up??!!!! I even offer specific suggestions like, “Does anyone need a drink, WHILE I AM UP?” or “Should I bring snacks, WHILE I AM UP?” or “Can I bring anything up/down stairs, WHILE I AM UP?” or my favorite and complete waste of oxygen, when I ask, “Does anyone need anything, WHILE I AM OUT?”

Are these not clear? Am I confusing in my intentions?

I have arrived at the only possible answer. They do it on purpose.