Some People Don’t Have Enough Sense To Pour Piss Out Of A Boot!

Our last chapter in country girls surviving the city, is on dating. (Don’t worry – I still have plenty of lessons on foreign countries, marriage, pregnancy and parenthood.)

Maw said that there was no use marrying a boy who couldn’t change the oil in the car, fix the toilet or vote Democrat. (She married a plumber. )I feel bad when she gets to heaven and realizes that I can’t do either of these and vote Republican to boot. Maybe that is why she wanted a perfect match for me – a ying to my yang.

So let’s do a quick review on dating in the country. Ready? Fast food, BBQ, beer, tail-gates, cruising town, beer, athletic events and long dirt roads…and beer. A special occasion might merit the back row of the twin cinema…and beer. Did I leave anything out?

Now onto the new stuff.

The positive of being from the country is that boys are fascinated by our accents, our love for beer and that we can drive a straight-shift, 4 wheel drive and heavy equipment. However, its these traits that make city dating so foreign to us.  City boys don’t go all in at first. They start with coffee dates in the afternoon or maybe drinks after work. If it still feels good after this, they move on to fancy dinners at expensive restaurants or places called Country Clubs.  Ahhh, I remember the first time I heard the words, “Put it on my tab.” They sure do know how to make a girl feel good…and out of place.  Some guys even send you flowers, even if they didn’t screw up somehow.  And dating is true to form in the city. You actually date more than one person at a time and these guys don’t care about your whereabouts since they seen you last. It’s nice.  Side note: since living in the city is so expensive, you should date lots of guys and use your money on more important things, like getting your nails done. Every now and then, you will come across guys who don’t want to insult you by paying for your dinner. Life is too short for this negativity, so you need to throw these fish right on back out to sea.

Now all of these treats are wonderful. I dated guys with fancy cars, houses, yachts (fancy boats that you can live on), planes, etc. However, after a while, you realize that you have nothing in common with them. And when you realize that they can’t change the oil in their car or they try to take you to the opera…you are done.

Let us not forget how good a man looks in coveralls, how calming Bocephus is to our ears and the sweet taste of BBQ. In other words, our roots!

I’d love to hear some stories from you on your first dates in the city!





One thought on “Some People Don’t Have Enough Sense To Pour Piss Out Of A Boot!

  1. Kymric isn’t exactly a “country boy”… I know, I know, it’s insane really considering the men I’ve dated in my life. He’s never been hunting (unless people count-USMC-you know); however, he can drink his weight in beer, loves BBQ, and can definitely drive a stick shift (even ones that go up to 13+ gears!)…SO, in a manner of speaking, he is country at heart. LOL! Our first official date, notice I said “official”, he took me to the fanciest restaurant I’d ever been in and ordered damn near everything I said looked good. It was insane and I had NEVER spent that much money on one meal in my life!!! I’m pretty sure I could’ve bought groceries for a whole week. It was a nice treat, definitely amazing food, but we save it for a once a month or every other month treat 🙂 I prefer fishing & hunting or hiking to dinner and a movie. But, he is a movie buff so that is usually where we end up :/


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s