In August, we talked about the southern way to forecast weather, as us mountain folk have little faith in today's meteorology. We also mentioned that we should keep our imminent forecasts to ourselves when abiding in the big city - 1) people will just think you are a hillbilly (a fact that we are trying … Continue reading If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast nets.
When it rains from a mostly blue sky, then the devil is beating is wife. I never really understood this saying, but I hear it time and again. Weather. Being from North Carolina, you can easily experience all four seasons in the same week. Nothing like treating your sunburn with some fresh powdered snow. We … Continue reading The Devil Is Beating His Wife.
Our last chapter in country girls surviving the city, is on dating. (Don't worry - I still have plenty of lessons on foreign countries, marriage, pregnancy and parenthood.) Maw said that there was no use marrying a boy who couldn’t change the oil in the car, fix the toilet or vote Democrat. (She married a … Continue reading Some People Don’t Have Enough Sense To Pour Piss Out Of A Boot!
(Title translation for non-country folk: Did you eat, yet?) We have covered walking, talking, parking and spitting. Surprisingly, we will need to cover food if you plan on eattin in the city. You might be a redneck if you know how to wring a chicken's neck...all in a day's work if you wanted to eat … Continue reading Jeet Yet?
I'd like to preface this post by saying that although I wrote it over 1o years ago...my six year old showed me living proof that you can't always take the country out of the person, so I decided to re-write it. It seems that this lesson is timeless. I decided to treat my boys to … Continue reading Chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit!
You may have been prom queen or voted most attractive at Podunk High, but this memo hasn't and won't reach the city of your choosing. So suck it up. It takes time for others to recognize your potential in cities already full of crowns. On the flip side, you may have been on the bottom … Continue reading It’ll all come out in the wash…
One thing that I quickly learned is that people in the big city are always in a hurry and couldn’t care two cents how you are doing. So no eye contact, awkward smiles, small talk and frequent waves to people you don’t know. You go where you need to go, say what you need to … Continue reading You Ain’t Got No Corn for Sell…