This morning, I awoke to a dear friend of mine sending me a FB meme/video on “Mummy needs a drink.” I laughed and sent her my love for understanding my life (as she does with her own brood) and then set about my day.
Then….I needed a drink. Why?
- Because one of my boys couldn’t find the loaf of bread that I left for him on the counter. Not a hidden counter in the garage or a neighbor’s house, but our kitchen counter.
- Because my kids demanded a caffeine drink at the restaurant for their weekly lunch. Is today their birthday? No. Is today the day their dog died? No. Therefore, No. Water.
- Because my kids asked me what a period was.
- Because one of my kids used my tampon as a parachute for his toy soldier. Again.
- Because my youngest couldn’t find his shoes…..that were by the door….where he stood….. Which slowed us all down to sloths on Ambien…..
- Because they asked, “Why?”
- Because I had to get groceries….with them.
- Because I homeschool and they have trouble with their ABCs on Fridays.
- Because its Friday, and they are bored.
- Because my kids are not allowing me to be the mother that I had planned on being.
Every so often, I research ‘normal’ levels of alcoholism, just to keep me on my toes. However, I don’t live in Europe, where the levels are much more akin to REAL LIFE. I am born and bred a Puritan…..well, whatever. I have kids. I should have a handicap.
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Yep. Handicap deserved. There should be a craft brewery near every mom, with drop-in taste testing offered as a service to moms with kids. It’s gotta be in our bill of rights, somewhere.
Your comments made me grin.
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