Around Here Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer.

After spending over a decade in law enforcement, victim services and social work, we circled the wagons and brought our kids home from public school. Now, we are on year five. After the first years, we learned to lay to rest all of those good intentions of facilitating unrealistic goals of growth, having tri-lingual kids, and raising prodigal children. We now focus on strong vitals and an education that stands just above 3rd world countries.

Frankly, our boys live like college freshman – stay up late, sleep late and cram like it’s their job. Yes, we have the same 24 hour day as the rest of you, but the mental exhaustion of homeschooling puts that productivity at around 4 hours a day. By the time I do my own jobs, home school and some typical chores, I am mentally done. So, I add wine to the equation and gain a few more hours of productivity.

What do I do with this 2nd wind, you might ask? Mostly, I curl up with a book and ignore all types of responsibilities for a couple more hours. What are my boys doing during this sacred time? They are enjoying endless amounts of technology – YouTube, Xbox, Ipads, TV, etc. Why? Because it keeps them quiet. Because it keeps their vitals strong. Because it protects my sanity.

My boys often ask if we are normal and I say, “Yes!” with resounding confidence. I explain to them that they belong to an internationally, renowned private home school program, I somehow manage to work enough to contribute to my part of the household bills and 80% of our food budget goes to home-cooked food! Did I mention the strong vitals?? We are good, I say!

What’s ‘normal’ anyway. Around Here Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer.

DST…Aren’t You Precious?

I was so unbalanced today from the POINTLESS Daylight Savings time that I rolled out of bed at 5:30am…or 6:30am, whatever, It’s all the same before noon. It was still dark out, coffee wasn’t made and the handful of hours of sleep that I had was already gone. Yes, the snow was pretty…when the Sun finally showed it to me at a more decent hour. I spent the day tired when I wasn’t supposed to be tired…hungry, when I wasn’t supposed to be hungry and pretty much disembodied through and through.

I wanted to curse the SavingsTimes Gods straight to hell. So I decided to blog….then I read Early Bird Gets the Worm… and it all still stands. All.Of.It. And it will still be BS next year…and the year after.

Come on Trump…forget education, travel, walls and healthcare and focus on a real, tangible issue that can be resolved, NOW!!!!! I promise that it will land you in a history book and probably be a huge Public Relations coup!!

While you are at it, ban pineapples on pizza, insist that toilet paper rolls from the top and toothpaste is squeezed from the bottom. These will definitely “Make America Great Again.”

daylight 5

I Feel Like I’ve Been Rode Hard and Hung Up Dry

Well, I have about eight hours left of the year that I have deemed our year of “Financial Ruin.” If you read one of my Monday Moans, then you remember the appliance conspiracy perpetrated against me in my own home. Over the summer, the financial gods took a few more swings at us and flipped us off as we cried in the mud. Whatever. We survived. And we survived in style.

As I was reviewing my goals for the upcoming year and declaring all of the things that were going to change, I decided to look back over this blog and see what yall thought of it. I was super surprised to see that this blog had been read by people in ten different countries and that some of my posts got a lot more attention that others. So, I just re-read the top three blog posts that yall chose to view…and I totally laughed out loud. Mostly, because I write about real things that I have survived and some because I just crack myself up.

The most viewed blog post was Worthless As An Ashtray On A Motorcycle, published this past Fall when I returned from enjoying a covert terrorist tactic of staying at an all-inclusive resort. The second most viewed and my personal favorite was As Easy As Herding Cats, when you readers agreed with me that everyone hears gunfire in the shower!…right? And the third most viewed post that I enjoyed re-reading today was As Slow As Molasses and I totally still have the picture to prove it!

So, I hope that this blog has brought you laughs, as it continues to bring to me. I think that I will give it another year and see how it goes. Maybe, I will even get to where I am a regular blogger!!

PS In 2016, I hope that I have the guts to finally publish my eBook – the first in a serious of Mountain Notes (instead of Cliff Notes) on grant-writing! Send me positive vibes and have a Happy New Year!!!

What was your favorite blog post or topic that I covered?