Stay Calm And Eat Your Milk Sandwich.

Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE Snow Days. Seriously. I set my alarm for the time the snow is predicted to start. I can’t even get up in the mornings for important things, but have no problems if snow is in the forecast! Love it. Lots. When it starts snowing, I am worthless…and loud…and dancing. Love It. Seriously. As do my boys.

However. These are some things that I don’t love:

  1. Moooooooooom, when can we got oooouuuuttttt? (Demanding to sled after 5 minutes of flurries.)
  2. Moooooooooom, where are my gloves, hat, snow bibs, coat, pulse, etc (Me: Why are the fingers cut out of these brand new gloves? Child: Duh, I needed tactical gloves.)
  3. After ensemble….mom, I have to pee.
  4. Sounds of tears within the first 10 minutes because the snow in some way hurt. This one really sends me over the edge. “Oh, you got hit with a snowball?” (I thought that was why we are out here?) Whining child states: “But, I wasn’t ready.”  or….”He threw it too hard.” or “My sled went over a rock.” or “The wind hurts my face.”
  5. Mooooooooom, why is it melting? I choose not to use words for this question because I honestly don’t have any words that they like to hear and they just get more pissed when I answer because you are whining or the angels have finished pooping.
  6. When snowmaggedon is predicted and we have blue skies and it’s somehow my fault. Or….when nothing is predicted and we get pounded and it’s somehow my fault.
  7. When I forgot to stock up on booze. (This one should have been first.)
  8. When my 7 year old packs my front door with snow and then rings the doorbell until I answer. (This didn’t work out well for him, although he still thinks it was totally worth it.)
  9. When my 9 year old somehow sneaks outside to pack my toboggan with snow and leaves it for me. (I was too impressed with my “nice” kid’s antics to punish him. Up until this point, I wasn’t sure if he was my child.)
  10. When I forgot to stock up on booze. No, it wasn’t supposed to know. However, I am a country girl and should have been prepared.