Hold My Beer…

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Many of you know that I am also a Freelance Copywriter and enjoy writing on the different topics that I am tasked with. Most recently, I found myself in the position of being able to add up to two more clients to my monthly calendar. Therefore, I have spent a few days updating my LinkedIn, applying for jobs, feeling out possible connections, etc. After spending 15 to 20 minutes on each job application and trying to craft messages to CEOs to convince them that I am the woman for the job, I got to thinking.  It got me to thinking about us WAHMs (Work At Home Moms) and how we essentially put to shame any CEO on this planet! In fact, there should be two buttons to Apply for jobs: One that says “Current or experienced WAHM” and the other that says, “Continue with the 30 minute application process and pray you are not up against a WAHM.”

If CEOs are lucky enough to have a WAHM apply for ANY position in their ENTIRE company, the following experience should go without saying:

  1. If we apply for a job in Finance, know that we have created, managed and lived on a budget, smaller that you can even fathom, and are successfully managing a firm of at least three people, who are miraculously still alive and well. In fact, we probably have at least $25 left in the bank. Oh something broke? We say, hold my beer…
  2. If we apply for a job in Human Resources, know that we put the Spanish Inquisition to shame when it comes to researching, interviewing and selecting those that we trust with the care of our children…or those that will provide a service to our homes. We laugh at initial contract prices. We dare companies to tell us that their offer is the best they can do! Negotiations needed? We say, hold my beer….
  3. If we apply for a job in Marketing, know that we are the reason that Facebook is called Frontbook. We are adept at presenting our lives in the best possible light. We take our Pinterest Fails and photoshop them for Instagram to present a united front for successful mothers around the globe. We are the very population that is targeted for 90% of businesses. We have been defining SEO for the past decade. Don’t think we can design a campaign to target families? We say, hold my beer….
  4. If we apply for a job in your Administration, know that we can take a calendar and make it sing. We can squeeze five hours of work in 20 minutes. Don’t believe us? Bring yourself to our work one day with a money back guarantee. You will quickly learn why they call it ‘man-hours.’ Don’t think we can add in another ten hours of work for you? We say, hold my beer….
  5. If we apply for a job in Hospitality, know that we can take a completely wrecked home and have it show-ready in three hours tops. Guests for dinner in 30 minutes? We say, hold my beer…
  6. If we apply for a job in Events Management, know that we can plan all-encompassing events with only two hours notice. We have it down to a science and work with little to no budget. Our child decides he wants free pony rides? We say, hold my beer…

So, all you CEOs and hiring managers out there, take heed: get you a WAHM ASAP! We can school you on KPIs, Finance, Quality Control, Communications and Personnel, all with a baby on our hip, while cooking supper and negotiating the latest contract.

In fact, do yourself a favor and target WAHMs ASAP!

2 thoughts on “Hold My Beer…

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