Get ‘Er Done!

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The ‘goal’ of parenthood is to keep a steady pattern of strong vitals. The ‘plan’ has changed numerous times, over the course of history. Some super moms just keep it together and continually one-up themselves, only to be unfollowed or unfriended in our vast social networks. Or at least fuel the fodder in the social circles of us normal people. Not only do these specimens keep a perfectly clean house, adhere to a perfectly balanced budget and calorie count, but they also seem to maintain above average hygiene levels, keep their kids in matching clothes and chart new territories in the Pinterest arena. They probably all even wear fit-bits. Yeah well, it must be a lonely time for them and their sorcery. Me and my village are doing just fine without them.

Don’t let yourself get caught up in a circus that your monkeys will never steal the show! Focus on survival…and strong vitals. The rest will work itself out. Keep those standards low and your plan can easily adapt to new directions.

To help you along the way, I have compiled a list of awesome mommy-wins to help you survive…because us country girls have got to stick together! So grab a glass of wine and celebrate…and remind your people…that you gave birth successfully, your children have learned to walk upright and eat solids and you managed a shower….recently.  BAM!

This list is not inclusive and I welcome more ideas on how I can keep winning at this mommy thing.

  1. Buy all of the EXACT same socks: No more sorting or matching. Done.
  2. If a dish is just really, really dirty…or has taken up room in your sink for too long, just throw it away. It’s liberating. Thank me later.
  3. If the kids leave legos on the floor, vacuum them up. There is no sense in actually having to bend down and pick them up. None.
  4. Spend money on nice , comfy pajamas for the whole family that can double as clothing. Or vice versa.
  5. A person only needs one towel per week. Just…one.
  6. Heavy-duty scissors are easier than a knife and fork. Just saying. This one got your attention, didn’t it?! lol
  7. Baby powder on your hair will buy you at least two more days of no shampooing!
  8. Never…ever put the batteries in your kids toys. Do it once, and you are toast – otherwise…they…never…know.
  9. Never bother to toast poptarts for your kids. Again….they…will…never…know…the…difference. Bam! Saves time. Eliminates Effort. More counter space!
  10. Never…ever…..ever…allow your kids to spend time with those one-uppers that we discussed earlier. Irreparable damage to our plans.

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