Are Your Eyes Brown?

As I enter my second semester of my fourth year homeschooling, I finally need to just rant. If I had a nickel for every time I hear that “there is no way that I have the patience to homeschool my kid(s),” or “my kids wouldn’t survive in homeschool,” I wouldn’t need to keep buying lottery tickets. What do these people think happens at my house? Surely to the great God in Heaven, people are not accusing me of Sainthood?!

Do they think that maybe we wake up to the sounds of music, hold hands while we praise our Lord, patiently and happily cook breakfast while our children are milking cows and churning butter? Or perhaps they think that we convene on our living room floor in our Sunday best, make our own plato to build a science project later, break an egg yolk to mix with our chalk for art or dutifully copy the Bible in Latin?? (All the while, wearing smiles and aprons?) Do people think that we are awaiting Daddy to come home with smiles and stories about our awesome, fight-free day??

If for any conceivable reason that you might be in the above camp, let me take a few moments to point out some truths of our homeschool…….which I may rename, the House of Pain. Let’s start with what we planned to happen:

  1. We planned to enjoy classical music, while pursuing learning at a higher level.
  2. We planned to orchestrate real life nature adventures to learn about botany first-hand.
  3. We planned to ‘face our food,’ grow a garden and dry our own herbs.
  4. We planned to spend whole days devoted to foreign languages.
  5. We planned to make our own detergents, plato and star charts.
  6. We planned to skip grades and enter genius-level promotions, especially in Math and English.

However, in reality,

  1. I throw something at least twice a week. Almost never at anyone.
  2. I threaten public school on a REGULAR basis. The first time is usually by mid-afternoon on our very first day….
  3. I literally jump up and down screaming at my kids and asking them WHY I should even bother?!
  4. I scream GET OUT!
  5. I cry.
  6. My children cry.
  7. We cry together.
  8. We decide to fashion award charts that will be abandoned within 48 hours.
  9. We decide to get on a schedule that we have never in four years adhered to.
  10. I question my sanity.
  11. I wage my sanity against Common Core.
  12. I celebrate if we meet the minimal state standards and have strong vital signs by Friday night at midnight.
  13. I pour a glass of wine.
  14. I agree to do just one more day.

Many of us were not groomed to homeschool…nor did we ask for the responsibility. We made the best choice for our family and just blog to survive!


4 thoughts on “Are Your Eyes Brown?

  1. Ah, unschooling, nonscrolling. I thought Janine and I were nuts with our kids. Not all fun and games, to be sure, but our two kids are definitely their own persons, neither choosing to live in our parochial home town.


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