Crow tastes like sh*t.

In true Country Girl fashion, I spent a good portion of my life tearing up dirt roads, never turning down a fight and hiding from the law on more than one occasion (no worries, statute of limitations has expired for all of my transgressions). I moved on to college, but still had a constant need to dust off the country. I have made mistakes and made an ass of myself more times that I can count on two hands…maybe five hands. I have never wished to turn back time, because I am who I am. I spent years being good at helping people because I had been there and done that.

However, if I could take one thing back – it would be my mouth. Specifically, my words to or about parents...before I was a parent. If I only knew then, how much they wanted to throat punch me, I would have saved my words and later on my pride.

I believe that there are no worse hypocrites on this planet than parents. We do what we said we would never do….nearly every day. We are liars. We are failures. We are hypocrites. (We are also still very awesome.)

I just couldn’t resist telling parents-to-be and even seasoned parents, how I was going to one-up them. I spouted culture, research, and reasons for my proclamations. I swore to be different.

I’m a liar. I’m a failure. I’m a hypocrite. We need to just embrace these facts and grovel at the feet of those we scorned. We need to beg to get back in their good graces, so we can find other ways to point fingers.

Here are just a few pieces of crow that still turns my stomach:

LIE: I will NEVER let my child sleep in the same bed with me.

REASONING: “Research shows that children grow to be more independent and self-reliant when they learn to fall asleep on their own.”

REALITY: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Our crib could have been a treadmill for all the purpose it served.

LIE: I will always make time for my husband.

REASONING: “Marriages fall apart because parents focus 100% on the kids and forget to focus on each other.”


LIE: I will always make time for my friends.

REASONING: “Moms need their own time, too.”

REALITY: It’s not that I didn’t miss my friends, it’s just that I was too tired and too broke to bother with a night out. Even if all the stars aligned and I actually had some cash and got a good night’s sleep, I didn’t want to bother with all of the anxiety that came with coordinating childcare and placating the hubby. Not to mention, finding something to wear…that still fit….and was comfortable….and classy….and braving make-up….. Gosh, I’m already exhausted writing this..

LIE: I will never let my kids out of my sight.

REASONING: “Accidents happen in the blink of an eye.”

REALITY:  HAHAHAHAHAHA. Moms become an expert at hiding from their kids!

LIE:  I will never allow my kids to act like ‘that.’

REASONING: “Even kids can and should be talk respect, reverence, privacy, boundaries, rules, etc.”


I’m sure that this list is even longer in my reality, but I like to keep my blogs short and concise. Feel free to add to it!


2 thoughts on “Crow tastes like sh*t.

  1. How about:

    LIE: I will never raise my voice at my children.

    REASONING: Remaining calm and collected through any crisis teaches children how to properly deal with stress and chaos.

    REALITY: Between their attempts at “talking” over each other, the tv blaring, the piano banging, the blood curdling screeches emanating from the one that didn’t win the “talking” contest, the toys and electronics ping-bleep-blooping away, the mp3’s playing, and the incessant quips and questions from the “Amen Corner”, I’m surprised I don’t have chronic laryngitis.


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