The famous last words of any born and bred redneck include some variation of “Hey, watch this!”
Country girls are probably faced with crisis situations more than anyone else. Given, most of our stories begin with our male counterparts hollering, “Hey, watch this!” These situations may be born from curious minds and innocent misdemeanors, but invariably end in injuries. Regardless of how it begins, we are well-versed in the aftermath.
My writing prompt for today is to evaluate how I respond to crisis situations and to evaluate whether I am happy with the response. Well, that’s easy.
First, I cuss a blue streak. Next, I ensure that the subject of said crisis understands, in complete clarity, what a Dumba$$ he is and ask him countless rhetorical questions inquiring what he thought was going to happen. Eventually, I progress to assessing for injuries and if dirt, wet tobacco, toothpaste, duct tape or whiskey won’t fix it, then I cuss some more. I get very pissed off if I have to take time out of my day to deal with stupidity. Finally, I swallow my pride and call 911 and prepare to hear and see these same steps repeated by people who I have known all of my life – only they get paid to deal with it. As is true with small towns, our esteemed paramedics and rescue workers have usually either tried the same antics, saw one of my relatives try it or worse, remember when I tried it. This type of experience gives them free reign in treating injuries with the same condescending approach that it deserves.
Am I happy with my response to crisis situations? Of course not. But what else am I gonna do??
We all have those memories of watching our loved ones just do stupid stuff and somehow defy the laws of nature and survive it. What is your favorite tale?