You are About to be in a World of Hurt, Honey!

I am taking some much needed time to help out y’all in mounting a defense against the World Wide Web, even though so many of you are knee deep in the fight all ready. The younguns aren’t as negatively affected with this concept, as the generation above us – (even though my dear mother conquered Facebook before I caved – she didn’t get her first smartphone until this week). So in celebration of this bittersweet moment for my mother, let us talk about smartphones this week.

1. Don’t Get Your Liver in a Jar.

Let us take a quick journey through time to help build your confidence and remind you that you can survive this big step. Although in hindsight, we totally should have stayed right here….The only dirty laundry on these phones was nice and hidden on a similar string.

.tin can

Then we partied with our neighbors…

Phone 1

Then we were a Jones for a minute…        until we tried to keep up with them….

Old Phone1st cordless

Then these were introduced “for emergencies, only” ….

Bag Phones

Then, we got too big for our britches…

flip phone

And surpassed yet another stage that shoulda been left wellanuff alone….

camera phone

Enter….the best and worst invention of our time. A device that can broadcast our best and worst times to The.Entire.World. in a split second.


2. Forget Slow As Molasses in January.

Smartphones bring the Internet wherever you need it, lickety-split. But first you have to overcome the touch screen. For those of you that came before the TV remote, this one is a dingy and I’m not real sure how I can help you build this bridge. I totally Googled (We will learn about Dr. Google later) it and got nothing. If you came between the TV remote and the IPAD, there is hope for you yet.

3. Smartphones Are Fine As Frog Hair.

If you turn down the wrong country road, there is an app for that. If you want to know when is the best time to go look at stars, there is an app for that. If you forget when to change your contact lenses, there is an app for that. If you forgot when you will start your period, there is an app for that. If you want to compare prices of a certain product, there is an app for that. If you have forgotten what books you have read, there is an app for that. If you want to figure out an amazing, inventive way to organize your life, there is an app for that. Want to read the Good Book, there is an app for that. If you want to prank call your ex-boyfriend, there is an app for that. Get my drift? If you can imagine it, someone has already beat you to it and called it an app.

4. What in the Heck are Apps? (We will jump in a littler deeper in some of these later!)

“Apps” are cute little icons that are only one click between where you are and where you want to be or apps are your answer to whatever question you have. Imagine your smartphone as a tool shed and each tool is an app. If you need to tighten up a space in your house, download Pinterest. If you need to hammer out directions, download MapQuest. If you need to pencil in a reminder, download the app. If you need to run to Lowe’s…download the Lowe’s app and instantly see specials, choices and ideas.

What are your favorite Apps?


One thought on “You are About to be in a World of Hurt, Honey!

  1. the only reason I own a smart phone is because I can text faster!!!! Words with Friends & Pinterest are my favorite apps! And of course, Facebook so I don’t miss out on any of your crazy antics 🙂


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