Well damn. You found yourself pregnant and you think that all will be ok. Your pregnancy may be filled with happiness, glowing skin, healthy cravings and a perfect view of the world. You may love your husband for putting you in this position. If this is true, then we can’t be friends and you need to find another blog. This blog is about surviving and some pregnancies rival The Crucible. For instance, mine did.
Here are some things that I learned:
1. Food. Forget it. It will never taste the same and is just the messenger to your time with the toilet. Gross? Yes, but reality.
2. Quality Time. Forget it. In fact, just have your husband order some fancy food and then flush it directly down the toilet. There is no sense in involving the middle man – you. Quality time is now your time with the toilet.
3. Dental hygiene. Forget it. Your twice daily commitment to dental hygiene is now guaranteed time with the toilet.
4. Friends. Forget them. Your best friend now is the toilet.
5. Hope. Forget it. You will feel so much freer if you just throw in the towel on all hopes of things getting better. Your only hope now is that your daily routine will one day involve less than 10 trips to the toilet….or the side of the road….